I am writing this blog so that those who read this can understand where I am coming from, and that me becoming a born-again Christian, living my life for Jesus alone and letting His Word govern my life, could only happen by God changing me. I had no intention of ever leaving the LDS church, I would tell people that I was 100% LDS and would die LDS. I was hard-core and nothing and no one could sway me of my faith in the LDS church and everything it taught. That is why it’s so amazing that God opened my eyes and saved me, because only He could reach me, no one else could get to me. I had to come to the point in my life where I started seeing faults in the LDS church so I would look to God alone as my source for truth and not just exclusively the LDS church. That’s when I began to study God’s Word, the Bible and open my heart to accept His truth from the Bible above everything else in my life. I served an honorable LDS mission from June 2004-2006. For the first half of those two years I was completely devoted and passionate about the LDS church, Joseph Smith, and the Book of Mormon. The second half I began to serve for Jesus alone.
Here is an excerpt of my journal after I began to read the Bible and started becoming Christian:
20 Jan 06 “It says that no man has a greater love than he that lays down his life for his friends in John 15:13. It made me start thinking about that. Christ laid down His life for me to live again. He loved me that much to die for me…It’s just incredible to think about how much Christ loves me. I don’t really know, but I have felt God’s love for me many times in my life and there’s no denying it, I know without any doubt that Christ is there for me. That He is beside me all along the way- though sometimes it feels like I am alone and climbing the mountain on my own. But I know that Christ will never leave me, nor will His Spirit cease to guide me in the pathway of Christ. I know that I am never alone, and I don’t know how He still believes in me, when I always let Him down, but I guess He sees some reason for keeping me around. Of all the things I’ve done in my life, and all the times that I had the choice to follow God or to follow my own worldly path and chose the world, and dragged His name back through the mud-and yet He is always there with His arms stretched out still. How amazing is His love. I just long to sing out praises and shouts and rejoice in my God, and my King. I wish my heart could speak what I feel so deep inside My spirit longs to find a voice, but maybe it’s not time yet. I can feel something changing inside, like something being awakened and re-discovered Something fulfilling and that living without it seemed empty and hollow, like something was missing. But now I am feeling more alive than I ever have before. For as long as I can remember, I had no purpose or any that I understood at least, I kind of just floated along oblivious to all the things around me. I just felt like I was waiting to be discovered. As I look back to those times, I have no question that God was there in the midst of it all and He never left my side. He guided me to the point where I am, and never has, nor ever will cease to direct my paths. For He is the only true light, the life of the world, the lover of my soul, my God, and my Salvation. If I follow Him, and just believe, I will be saved. So going along with the scripture that talks about how you don’t have greater love than if you give your life for your friends. Well, If I want to love those around me, I must lose my life in their service for them. And I can develop that love by laying down my life for my friends.”
One more thing I wrote a little later that year as I was learning how to walk as an infant in Christ:
4 May 06 “And something to ask myself and others- If I came to the point where the church tells me to do one thing and God tells me by personal inspiration something else- Who’s voice should I follow? Who would you want me to obey?” Anyone reading this I hope they would ask themselves the same question, and even further, if the church tells you something and then God tells you through His Word, the Bible something different, which one will you follow? God bless.
